I'm not a confrontational person in real life, so I really don't wanna get into arguments or fistfights with people I'm making fun of.
You can't go wrong with pizza, unless it's terrible pizza.
'Ambulatory' is my favorite word to use because it never gets a laugh.
From 1987 to 1992, I was on the road for 40 weeks a year playing comedy clubs, and that was during the 'comedy boom.'
I always had a tremendous amount of rage about the business, and I thought turning that into comedy was healthy.
I am the smartest comedian in the history of the world.
I came out to L.A. in '78 to be a musician. I didn't get into comedy until the mid-Eighties.
I can open up any can of worms and get people upset.
I did not sell Amway, but I sold Shaklee, which was an Amway-type product sold through multi-level marketing.
I don't consider myself a political comedian because it's so hard. It takes time away from me saying terrible things about TV.
I don't hate Dane Cook, but I am trying to go after people I think are capable of more.
I don't know what Tracy Morgan does onstage, but I can assure you, it's no act.
I try to go out for everything. I go out for any acting stuff that comes up, and voice-over stuff.
I wanted to like 'Up in the Air' - I like Jason Reitman - but Vera Farmiga left me cold.
I will say that I wasn't susceptible to Tony Robbins-like pitches, even as a younger man.
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