Muscles come and go; flab lasts.
Money won't buy happiness, but it will pay the salaries of a large research staff to study the problem.
The tax collector must love poor people, he's creating so many of them.
A real patriot is the fellow who gets a parking ticket and rejoices that the system works.
Suburbia is where the developer bulldozes out the trees, then names the streets after them.
We hope that, when the insects take over the world, they will remember with gratitude how we took them along on all our picnics.
The groundhog is like most other prophets; it delivers its prediction and then disappears.
Youth is when you're allowed to stay up late on New Year's Eve. Middle age is when you're forced to.
An optimist stays up until midnight to see the new year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves.
If there is anything the nonconformist hates worse than a conformist, it's another nonconformist who doesn't conform to the prevailing standard of nonconformity.
A citizen of America will cross the ocean to fight for democracy, but won't cross the street to vote in a national election.
In the game of life, it's a good idea to have a few early losses, which relieves you of the pressure of trying to maintain an undefeated season.
Now that women are jockeys, baseball umpires, atomic scientists, and business executives, maybe someday they can master parallel parking.
People learn something every day, and a lot of times it's that what they learned the day before was wrong.
A three year old child is a being who gets almost as much fun out of a fifty-six dollar set of swings as it does out of finding a small green worm.
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