People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy.
A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn?
A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live.
I have seen what a laugh can do. It can transform almost unbearable tears into something bearable, even hopeful.
A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.
If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf.
You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.
If you haven't got any charity in your heart, you have the worst kind of heart trouble.
I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom.
I love to go to Washington - if only to be near my money.
When we recall the past, we usually find that it is the simplest things - not the great occasions - that in retrospect give off the greatest glow of happiness.
I don't feel old. I don't feel anything till noon. That's when it's time for my nap.
If I have to lay an egg for my country, I'll do it.
The good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he's really pissed off.
Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.
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