Humanity is a crazy contradiction. I accept us for who we are. We're not that great. Every time we take a step forward we go back to the same primitive behavior. We're meant to be this way. It's not our fault, it's just who we are.
The ancient Greeks were the first ones to say an unexamined life is not worth living. They don't tell you of course what we found out, an examined life not that fascinating either.
My stand-up act? I combine the fact that the world is a violent place with the fact that each person is responsible for the situation they are in.
Marie Antoinette was funny, I'm sure she was just misinterpreted. You know the 'Let them eat cake' line. She seems like she was kind of funny, like a Chelsea Handler or Kathy Griffin type.
The thing that drives me crazy is when comics say 'I have low self-esteem.' No you don't. You're standing on stage asking people to pay. You don't play an instrument. You want people to pay to hear what's in your mind. You don't have low self-esteem. You might have other problems.
Everybody's got a different sense of humor. It's just different styles.
I don't know any comedian who tailors his act to his audience. Maybe people say they do, but I can't even imagine them.
I think people tend to feel odd when I do my act. Unless you are an ironic person, it's not a good place for you to be.
I'm just another guy who thinks he's smarter than he is, in a long line of them.
I feel most empires fell when they started to act human, but then look at Russia. They kept a pretty strong hand, and they fell from Afghanistan alone because Afghanistan is the graveyard of empires. I guess you just can't sustain it.
I would say most comedians have a very cynical worldview of the way the world can work. It's almost like if you didn't, you couldn't be a comedian.
It was tumultuous, it was crazy, but I would not trade it for anything.
My name has zero value.
Everybody's funny in different ways.
I think Helen of Troy must have been pretty hot. She got two countries going crazy for 10 years over her.
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