You can either look at things in a brutal, truthful way that's depressing, or you can screw around and have fun.
There's always something funny about men chasing women.
In grade school I was smart, but I didn't have any friends. In high school, I quit being smart and started having friends.
Everyone is so weird in L.A. that if you're somewhat normal, it's exotic.
Single guys get a bad rap.
Sometimes when I watch a TV season, your favorite shows die quickly. And then sometimes it's not your favorite, and they live on for 12 years.
I want to get back to my fighting weight of 98 pounds. I have the exact measurements of that guy from the movie, Powder. Right now, I am the reigning West Coast Powder.
Success? You can't get a big head about it. When people stare at me, they could be whispering to their friend, 'That guy sucks! Have you seen him before? He's horrible.'
It's funny because it's funny.
I feel like I've got this anti-marriage thing, but it's less that and more I'm overthinking it to get it right.
I've got to get on myself to be sharp, funny and loose.
Most of the shows I want to do I'm not smart enough to figure out how to watch.
To make money I picked up work as a busboy, valet parker, skateboard shop employee.
I have no detectable hair style.
I have no stories to sell. A lot of my relationships are with civilians, and no one wants to hear about those.
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