Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon.
If all the cars in the United States were placed end to end, it would probably be Labor Day Weekend.
A true friend is one who overlooks your failures and tolerates your success!
If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there'd be a shortage of fishing poles.
More marriages might survive if the partners realized that sometimes the better comes after the worse.
Nostalgia is a file that removes the rough edges from the good old days.
A weed is a plant that has mastered every survival skill except for learning how to grow in rows.
To err is human; to admit it, superhuman.
A pun is the lowest form of humor, unless you thought of it yourself.
Home computers are being called upon to perform many new functions, including the consumption of homework formerly eaten by the dog.
Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening when you'd have preferred to talk.
Few things are more satisfying than seeing your children have teenagers of their own.
Real elation is when you feel you could touch a star without standing on tiptoe.
Wisdom is the quality that keeps you from getting into situations where you need it.
For disappearing acts, it's hard to beat what happens to the eight hours supposedly left after eight of sleep and eight of work.
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