Success is simply a matter of luck. Ask any failure.
Science may never come up with a better office communication system than the coffee break.
A vacation is what you take when you can no longer take what you've been taking.
You may not be able to read a doctor's handwriting and prescription, but you'll notice his bills are neatly typewritten.
Gossip is when you hear something you like about someone you don't.
Snow and adolescence are the only problems that disappear if you ignore them long enough.
A baseball game is simply a nervous breakdown divided into nine innings.
One way to get high blood pressure is to go mountain climbing over molehills.
Experience is what enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
Isn't it a shame that future generations can't be here to see all the wonderful things we're doing with their money?
Nothing is as embarrassing as watching your boss do something you assured him couldn't be done.
Home, nowadays, is a place where part of the family waits till the rest of the family brings the car back.
If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
Always remember, money isn't everything - but also remember to make a lot of it before talking such fool nonsense.
Ever notice that the whisper of temptation can be heard farther than the loudest call to duty.
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