There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.
Weather forecast for tonight: dark.
Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.
Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town.
Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.
Electricity is really just organized lightning.
I think it would be interesting if old people got anti-Alzheimer's disease where they slowly began to recover other people's lost memories.
People who say they don't care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don't care what people think.
I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death.
You know an odd feeling? Sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar.
One can never know for sure what a deserted area looks like.
'I am' is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that 'I do' is the longest sentence?
Always do whatever's next.
I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, 'Where's the self-help section?' She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done.
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