If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late.
A Jewish woman had two chickens. One got sick, so the woman made chicken soup out of the other one to help the sick one get well.
Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house, that's what it means.
I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.
Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
When God sneezed, I didn't know what to say.
My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.
If at first you don't succeed... so much for skydiving.
I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays.
The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
She's a big-hearted girl with hips to match.
I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me.
She's been married so many times she has rice marks on her face.
The horse I bet on was so slow, the jockey kept a diary of the trip.
My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.
For un-subscribe please check the mail footer.