Marrying a man is like buying something you've been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn't always go with everything else in the house.
One of the most difficult things to contend with in a hospital is that assumption on the part of the staff that because you have lost your gall bladder you have also lost your mind.
Do you know how helpless you feel if you have a full cup of coffee in your hand and you start to sneeze?
Being divorced is like being hit by a Mack truck. If you live through it, you start looking very carefully to the right and to the left.
The real menace in dealing with a five-year-old is that in no time at all you begin to sound like a five-year-old.
I feel about airplanes the way I feel about diets. It seems to me that they are wonderful things for other people to go on.
Man is the only animal that learns by being hypocritical. He pretends to be polite and then, eventually, he becomes polite.
If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs, it's just possible you haven't grasped the situation.
Some people have such a talent for making the best of a bad situation that they go around creating bad situations so they can make the best of them.
I make mistakes; I'll be the second to admit it.
I'm tired of all this nonsense about beauty being skin deep. That's deep enough. What do you want, an adorable pancreas?
A lawyer is never entirely comfortable with a friendly divorce, anymore than a good mortician wants to finish his job and then have the patient sit up on the table.
Hope is the feeling that the feeling you have isn't permanent.
Now the thing about having a baby - and I can't be the first person to have noticed this - is that thereafter you have it.
Women speak because they wish to speak, whereas a man speaks only when driven to speak by something outside himself like, for instance, he can't find any clean socks.
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