Happiness often sneaks in through a door you didn't know you left open.
In Genesis, it says that it is not good for a man to be alone; but sometimes it is a great relief.
A man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams.
The trouble with life is that there are so many beautiful women and so little time.
You can only be as good as you dare to be bad.
Love is the delightful interval between meeting a beautiful girl and discovering that she looks like a haddock.
When archaeologists discover the missing arms of Venus de Milo, they will find she was wearing boxing gloves.
Sex: the thing that takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.
I would like to find a stew that will give me heartburn immediately, instead of at three o clock in the morning.
Why is there so much month left at the end of the money?
The good die young, because they see it's no use living if you have got to be good.
You can't drown yourself in drink. I've tried, you float.
I am thinking of taking a fifth wife. Why not? Solomon had a thousand wives and he is a synonym for wisdom.
If it isn't the sheriff, it's the finance company; I've got more attachments on me than a vacuum cleaner.
You never realize how short a month is until you pay alimony.
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