I think you figure out how to be funny by necessity. It's not a natural thing, being funny in the face of tragedy is kind of demented.
Be relentless and then you'll break through.
The best thing about becoming successful is that you get flowers all the time.
I think I knew I was funny in Elementary School. I think most funny people realize it when they're young. It tends to come out of stress or trauma - something that makes you want to be funny.
I hate being mean. I watch those roasts on Comedy Central and they make the hair on the back of my neck stand up.
I've known lots of people that are talented and nothing happens. It's not about talent, it's relentless drive.
There was plenty of dysfunction in my family and I went to Catholic School with these psychotic nuns. I would always try to be funny to lighten the mood.
I don't just want to be successful I want to have fun.
I think the obsession with wanting to change yourself is crazy over the top.
I was always trying to do things to make school fun.
It would be thrilling if I could be boycotted or something. I think that's part of the thrill Madonna gets, when you know you've hit a nerve. But that doesn't scare me. To me what would be a lot scarier would be like appearing on an episode of 'Full House' or something.
Debbie Gibson and dog food. I've always dreamed of this.
Going to Catholic school was what fueled me into comedy. The nuns were so brutal so I used to try to make my friends laugh.
I got confused. I thought it was a K.Y. scare, so I bought 2000 jars of personal lubricant. I still have some.
I love Kathy Griffin, I think she's brilliant, but for me, there is a line when I go OK, that's too much.
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