There are two things to aim at in life: first, to get what you want and second is to enjoy it. Only the wisest of mankind achieve the second.
People say that life is the thing, but I prefer reading.
If you want to be thought a liar, always tell the truth.
When they come downstairs from their Ivory Towers, idealists are very apt to walk straight into the gutter.
It takes a great man to give sound advice tactfully, but a greater to accept it graciously.
The mere process of growing old together will make our slightest acquaintances seem like bosom friends.
There are two things to aim at in life: first, to get what you want, and after that to enjoy it. Only the wisest of mankind achieve the second.
Happiness is a wine of the rarest vintage, and seems insipid to a vulgar taste.
We need two kinds of acquaintances, one to complain to, while to the others we boast.
The old know what they want; the young are sad and bewildered.
How can they say my life is not a success? Have I not for more than sixty years got enough to eat and escaped being eaten?
Hearts that are delicate and kind and tongues that are neither - these make the finest company in the world.
The denunciation of the young is a necessary part of the hygiene of older people, and greatly assists the circulation of the blood.
It is through the cracks in our brains that ecstasy creeps in.
Charming people live up to the very edge of their charm, and behave as outrageously as the world lets them.
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