Learning lines is on my mind until I do know them. I'll read the paper or paint the house to keep from starting to memorize. I've never found an easy way.
Sandwiches are wonderful. You don't need a spoon or a plate!
When I said I didn't have a cent, I didn't. I used to get annoyed with people who said they were broke when they had five dollars.
I feel now it's useless to keep hoping. The way things are today, we live in a world that needs laughter, and I've decided if I can make people laugh, I'm making a more important contribution.
I wish I had the nerve not to tip.
If I ever completely lost my nervousness I would be frightened half to death.
I was obsessed with being rich and famous.
I sang in the choir for years, even though my family belonged to another church.
My table seats eight, so that's my maximum. Having a small number of guests is the only way to generate good conversation. Besides, your whole house doesn't get wrecked that way.
A room is like a stage. If you see it without lighting, it can be the coldest place in the world.
A closet full of wire hangers can be the most dangerous place in the world.
An actor shouldn't undergo psychoanalysis, because there are a lot of things you're better off not knowing.
Politicians... talk in generalities and lies, and I think they've caused all our grief. They're so awful, they're really funny. I hate thinking this because my dad loved politics.
I'm Liberace without a piano.
Comedy is exaggerated realism. It can be stretched to the almost ludicrous, but it must always be believable.
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