I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.
To attract men, I wear a perfume called 'New Car Interior.'
Some people think having large breasts makes a woman stupid. Actually, it's quite the opposite: a woman having large breasts makes men stupid.
It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage - they've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
Men are self-confident because they grow up identifying with super-heroes. Women have bad self-images because they grow up identifying with Barbie.
I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight.
I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso.
I started taking ballet lessons when I was 4, and I was performing in ballet companies when I was 10, and I did summer stock in Miami Beach when I was 12, and finally I said, 'I gotta go to Broadway.'
When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.
Whenever I date a guy, I think, 'Is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?'
There are different kinds of humor, some is sarcastic, some introspective. Introspective fit my personality better.
I love to shop after a bad relationship. I don't know. I buy a new outfit and it makes me feel better. It just does. Sometimes I see a really great outfit, I'll break up with someone on purpose.
I had the worst birthday party ever when I was a child because my parents hired a pony to give rides. And these ponies are never in good health. But this one dropped dead. It just wasn't much fun after that. One kid would sit on him and the rest of us would drag him around.
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