Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing.
I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and I have succeeded fairly well.
A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.
Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn't the work he is supposed be doing at that moment.
Why don't you get out of that wet coat and into a dry martini?
It took me fifteen years to discover I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up because by that time I was too famous.
We are constantly being surprised that people did things well before we were born.
A boy can learn a lot from a dog: obedience, loyalty, and the importance of turning around three times before lying down.
Dachshunds are ideal dogs for small children, as they are already stretched and pulled to such a length that the child cannot do much harm one way or the other.
There seems to be no lengths to which humorless people will not go to analyze humor. It seems to worry them.
A real hangover is nothing to try out family remedies on. The only cure for a real hangover is death.
The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him.
In America there are two classes of travel - first class, and with children.
Tell us your phobias and we will tell you what you are afraid of.
The freelance writer is a man who is paid per piece or per word or perhaps.
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