When my girlfriend and I talk about being happy, I'll get choked up, which I think is the greatest gift you can give a girlfriend.
My mother is an incredibly beautiful woman who has laughed at every single thing my father's ever said. At a young age, my brother and I understood that if you can make girls laugh, you can punch well above your weight class.
Once you get past funny, my other qualities are so below average. It's not like I'm handy.
People appreciate it when you take some time to think about who will be listening to your jokes.
I'm strictly a sugar-free Red Bull guy. I'd rather enjoy my sugar intake elsewhere.
It's nice when I get offered small parts. But I really think that 'SNL' is what my skill set is best designed for.
My father is sort of the jokester. My dad is still the funniest guy in our family.
The first time I had disposable income, the two things I cared most about were a television and a couch.
The nice thing about anger is that, as an emotion, it's strong enough to unplug me from the comedian's mind for a minute and just be a frustrated member of the citizenry.
I enjoy talking about politics a great deal.
I love cheese plates. Though I actually hate cheese plates. Because I can't say no to them.
I'm a terrible grocery shopper. I hardly ever do it. And if I do, there's never more than three things in the bag.
It's weird to sit as a comedian. Being still drives me crazy.
'SNL' after-parties are sort of like a time to celebrate your successes and drown your sorrows, depending on how the show went for you.
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