Golden rule of life: never underestimate your rivals.
It's like trying to pin down a kangaroo on a trampoline.
The atmosphere is so tense, if Elvis walked in, with a portion of chips... you could hear the vinegar sizzle on them.
The players are under so much duress, it's like duressic park out there!
When Alexander of Macedon was 33, he cried salt tears because there were no more worlds to conquer. Eric Bristow is only 27.
You can get the dart player out of the pub, but you can't get the pub out of the dart player.
The thing about darts is that you've got to shout. It's not like cricket where you can talk to Michael Atherton and ask him to analyse the bloody nuances. Darts does not have nuances. You've got to hurl yourself at it.
He's about as predictable as a Wasp on speed.
He looks about as happy as a penguin in a microwave.
That's the greatest comeback since Lazarus.
Well as giraffes say, you don't get no leaves unless you stick your neck out.
That was like throwing three pickled onions into a thimble!
Under that heart of stone beat muscles of pure flint.
It's a form of mental and verbal gymnastics, and one of the things that appeals to me most about commenting on darts is that no one knows exactly what I'm going to come out with next - and neither do I.
Look at the man go, its like trying to stop a water-buffalo with a pea-shooter.
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