There's no such thing as quality time; there's only quantity time.
Everybody thinks they have the answer to how to be a good parent. Here's mine: Everybody's gonna make mistakes.
I tell my kids, 'I'm your father, not your friend - but I'm also the best friend you're ever going to have because no one is going to care for you the way I care about you.'
I'd like to form a club just for fathers. Specifically, fathers of daughters. There would be lots of overstuffed leather chairs, wood paneling, dim lights. The works.
Moms and daughters can negotiate over anything, and they can go on longer than it took to settle the Vietnam War.
Sometimes being a dad is like watching a ping-pong match.
'Because I said so!' They are the most underrated four words.
I gotta say, as the father of two beautiful young daughters, I consider myself the luckiest man on the face of the earth.
I read a lot of true-crime books, but sometimes they can put you in a bad mood.
I've been offered 'Celebrity Fit Club', where you have to take off your shirt and get on a scale. I got kids, man. I'm not going to humiliate myself. I'd rather drive a cab.
People get that dads have a place in the lives of their sons. But you have to be just as present with daughters, maybe even more so. You have to get in there and be part of the game.
In every movie and every TV show, the dads are morons. And dads tend to react by doing what dads do best: They check out. They say, 'Ask your mother.'
With girls, there's an insecurity that starts early on. It hangs around them, like some annoying kid from down the block who won't take the hint and go home when dinnertime comes. And moms are usually not great at giving their daughters confidence.
Being the father of girls is a kind of illness, in its own way - since any guy who has tried to live in a house with a wife and two daughters is, without any doubt, going to go certifiably nuts.
Kids don't come with an instruction manual. So if you're gonna make mistakes, at least make them your own way.
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