Life is like a piano. What you get out of it depends on how you play it.
Bad weather always looks worse through a window.
My last public performance for money was in 1967. For free, it was 1972, with the exception of two little one-shot, one-song things. But that's just for friends, out of friendship for the people involved, and also because it was fun.
Be prepared, and be careful not to do your good deeds when there's no one watching you.
I have always found it interesting... that there are people who regard copyright infringement as a form of flattery.
Life is like a sewer: what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.
Think as you work, for in the final analysis, your worth to your company comes not only in solving problems, but also in anticipating them.
If, after hearing my songs, just one human being is inspired to say something nasty to a friend or, perhaps to strike a loved one, it will all have been worth the while.
In my youth there were words you couldn't say in front of a girl; now you can't say 'girl.'
On my income tax 1040 it says 'Check this box if you are blind.' I wanted to put a check mark about three inches away.
Political satire became obsolete when they awarded Henry Kissinger the Nobel Peace Prize.
I wish people who have trouble communicating would just shut up.
I feel that if a person has problems communicating the very least he can do is to shut up.
If a person feels he can't communicate, the least he can do is shut up about it.
Apart from that Mrs Lincoln, how did you enjoy the play?
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