80% of success is showing up.
Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.
Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.
My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.
If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very innovative.
The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have, instead of what you don't have.
Eighty percent of success is showing up.
I am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.
There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
Tradition is the illusion of permanance.
It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more.
If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.
I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.
Seventy percent of success in life is showing up.
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