Some dog I got too. We call him Egypt. Because in every room he leaves a pyramid.
My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met.
Acting deals with very delicate emotions. It is not putting up a mask. Each time an actor acts he does not hide; he exposes himself.
I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.
At twenty a man is full of fight and hope. He wants to reform the world. When he is seventy he still wants to reform the world, but he know he can't.
What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bee and he told me about the butcher and my wife.
My cousins gay, he went to London only to find out that Big Ben was a clock.
The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest.
I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.
I came from a real tough neighborhood. I put my hand in some cement and felt another hand.
I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a brown tie.
I'm taking Viagra and drinking prune juice - I don't know if I'm coming or going.
With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to 'the best woman a man ever had.' The waiter joined me.
I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.
If it wasn't for pick-pockets I'd have no sex life at all.
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