It was quite a ride and very conflicting for me, too - to be nominated for an Oscar, to be straight and healthy, and to be getting all these accolades while these people around me were suffering and dying from AIDS.
I have always been a martial arts fighter; it goes to back when I was eighteen. I was competing on the circuit, but when you're performing, you tend to pull punches because you don't want to hurt anyone.
Bureaucrats behave very differently than a private-sector manager because their motivations are different. Permanent bureaucrats, no matter how senior, worry about their next job.
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