The truth is I love being alive. And I love feeling free. So if I can't have those things then I feel like a caged animal and I'd rather not be in a cage. I'd rather be dead. And it's real simple. And I think it's not that uncommon.
I didn't really want to live, so anything that was an investment in time made me angry... but also I just felt sad. When the hopelessness is hurting you, it's the fixtures and fittings that finish you off.
Brad and I have never wanted our kids to be actors, but we also want them to be around film and be a part of Mommy and Daddy's life and for it not to be kept from them, either. We just want them to have a good, healthy relationship with it.
It's getting harder to make decisions to just want to do something to work... I'm trying to find things that are extremely challenging or mean something to me deeply.