We all want to be special, to stand out; there's nothing wrong with this. The irony is that every human being is special to start with, because we're unique to start with. But we then go through some sort of boot camp from the age of zero to about 18 where we learn everything we can about how not to be unique.
I went back to my ex a couple of times, and regardless of how many times you hear from your parents or your best friends or whoever that 'Oh, you should let it go and be over it and let him go. Move past it and find somebody new.' Regardless of the advice that you're given, you kind of have to do whatever makes you happy.