You can only paint through your experience and sub-consciousness.
If you want me to be a cry baby, I cannot: I am the leader of a country. If you want to give me something and then withdraw it, fine; I must respect your decision.
It's famous that comedians have a very dark personal state of mind. I think, in my case, it's the same. The only way to get deep is to have a balance, or a counterbalance.
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