Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else.
You've got to go out on a limb sometimes because that's where the fruit is.
We will never have true civilization until we have learned to recognize the rights of others.
There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves.
Do the best you can, and don't take life too serious.
Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.
Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money they don't have for something they don't need.
The worst thing that happens to you may be the best thing for you if you don't let it get the best of you.
A man only learns in two ways, one by reading, and the other by association with smarter people.
Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.
Instead of giving money to found colleges to promote learning, why don't they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works as good as the Prohibition one did, why, in five years we would have the smartest race of people on earth.
The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesn't get worse every time Congress meets.
Too many people spend money they haven't earned to buy things they don't want to impress people they don't like.
Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
People are getting smarter nowadays; they are letting lawyers, instead of their conscience, be their guide.
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